Sunday, December 22, 2013

Christmas...

This year doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I haven't been able to get into the spirit of things. I've tried, and I'm sure I'll muster a little bit come the day. I'm just not really feeling it this year.

This past year has just been... trying. And things haven't quite fallen into place as much as I had hoped they would by now. And that puts a damper on things. Professionally, things are fine. Personally, things could be better.

This post isn't to whine about all that, though. I just felt like blogging, and this is what was on my mind. I do understand the true "reason for the season" as they say. And trust me, I'm not upset about gifts and all that. I do get joy out of giving, though, and that's just hardly possible this year. But still, that's not even it.

I had hoped a couple of things in particular would have worked out and come to fruition by now, but they didn't. And so the holiday I usually can't wait for (I'm the guy that's typically playing Christmas music in October in anticipation) just feels like another regular week filled with the same old stuff I do every week.

My surroundings this year are less than desirable, I'll be honest. I'm not happy about that. Circumstances have dictated this be the case for now, but I wish that were not so. And that's all I'll say about that.

I really don't mean to be a downer. Despite the negative crap that's gone down this year, and the current doldrums I find myself in amid my favorite time of year, some truly wonderful things have happened to me this year.

I was blessed with some amazing friends, who blessed me in amazing ways this year. Certain friends in particular were there for me in my roughest spots, and helped me get through in ways I hardly deserved. I have some true friends in my life that understand me, support me, and truly have my back, and I thank God every day for them. They have been a great blessing to me this year. I would have gotten through the tough times without them because I'm a fighter and survivor, and because God would have seen me through. But the way God chose to help me through was through the help of my friends. And for that I am eternally grateful.

This year, I've also made several new friends who have become a new community for me, and I enjoy every minute I get to talk to them, even if I don't get to see them.

And work, while up and down as always with freelance, has been surprisingly consistent throughout. Usually, this time of year, I find myself scraping the bottom of the barrel to find work. This year, I have three projects due before Christmas! So yeah, things have been far more steady than they usually are, and I can't help but be thankful for that.

So no, this year doesn't really feel like Christmas to me, nor am I in that jovial holiday mood, but I still count myself blessed and find myself thankful for those blessings that occurred throughout the year. If I can't have Christmas the way I would like, at least I can look back on these things and know that my Christmas came early and often, and that even better things await in the year to come.

God bless, everyone, and have a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Wherever you are, whatever you're going through, remember the blessings, however large or small, that have been bestowed upon you in your lives.

-B

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