Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Change Is In the Air

So, some recent events are forcing a pretty big change for me coming up really soon. I'm going to be vague, because I simply don't want to go into the details of it all. But it's something that was bound to happen, but as oftentimes occurs, it came at a time I wasn't nearly prepared for it.

Isn't that the way life goes, though? Things come at you when you're not ready for them to, and then you have to scramble and try to make them work. It's been the story of my life, and I'm sure many others' as well. We can't always be prepared for everything, no matter how hard we try. And believe me, I've tried very, very hard to be prepared for just this instance. But life often gets in the way of itself and prevents such preparations to come to fruition.

It is very hard to stay up and positive when you get thrown a curve ball like this. In the past 24 hours I've been angry, worried, remorseful, angry again, worried some more, angry a lot more, and stressed. Right now, I'm kind of calm. There's nothing I can do to change the course of events at this point, so I have to let go of all those emotions and just do what I can to salvage the situation.

I've known this day would come for a while, but I worked my butt off trying to prevent it to no avail. I'm talking sleepless nights, slaving at this computer, putting more time into it than a person should have to, but it just wasn't enough. As always happens, other things came up out of the blue that made staying on top of this situation impossible, no matter how much work I put in.

For a while now, I've looked at the positive side of this. It is an opportunity for a pretty big change in my life, and a change that's long overdue if I'm being honest. But it's still a change I'm nowhere near prepared for, and that scares me. I don't know how I'm going to make it happen. But I'm looking at all possibilities and trying to make the best out of this.

I do still have some anger and hurt, and rightfully so the way things went down, given everything I put into the situation. But ultimately I understand and just have to move on.

So, I'm about to close a chapter in my life and start a new one. It's going to be a pretty rocky start, but I'm hoping it'll smooth out and take me to better things in the future.

I realize I couldn't be more vague if I tried here, but those close to the situation will understand it completely. To the rest of you, just suffice it to say that change is change, even if it's forced change. And that's what I face and must accept, and hopefully, eventually, thrive from it.


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