Well, I got a rude awakening today, and it was all my fault. Well, one of them was anyway (actually got two). I found out I'm not getting paid as much as I thought, and I found out we have a new monthly bill.
First, let me explain the payment issue. On a certain book I'm lettering I had somehow gotten it in my head that I was getting my full rate on the book. I must have gotten it confused with another, because it turns out I'm not. I thought I had gotten paid more on a previous issue I had done, but I hadn't. So basically, I am getting about half of what I was expecting, which has effectively cut my holiday spending in half as it was the largest chunk of where that was coming from. That did not make me happy, but it's nobody's fault but my own. Just one of those things.
The bill is another story, which I won't go into. But suffice it to say, we now have to pay $100 a month for the next to months or bad things will happen. The first payment? Due this Wednesday. Yep, that sucks. Not to mention that my brother has to have a bunch of dental work done as well we discovered, and has a big appointment Dec. 10th that will run us about $1000, in payments thankfully. Yeah, Christmas is starting to look bleak. I know that's not what it's about, but it seems we always struggle to have anything.
On the plus side, every year (save one or two) something has come through and we've been blessed. So I refuse to get down about this stuff despite the title of this post. Something will come through and we'll have a really decent Christmas. Maybe not a great one, but then who in middle or lower class is in our current economic state?
The trouble is the main thing my brother wants is a computer because his laptop keeps freezing up. I wiped it clean and reloaded to factory and it still has malfunctions which, from the errors we get, seems to be hardware to me. So that's the main thing he wants, specifically to play World of Warcraft, the one monetary pleasure he gets. He doesn't go out and spend money on anything else except for food and an occasional XBox game every few months, so I'll pay that $16 a month to keep him from doing other stuff as it were.
As for my mom, I'd actually love to get her a computer too, or at least get mine fixed for her to have. See, I actually got a new computer several months back (a gift from mom) when mine fried again. I had deadlines and I was freaking out, and she came into a little money and came to my rescue. So I got a really good deal on a Dell with tons more memory and space and a bigger monitor, and it has made lettering so much less of a pain! But that money is gone now (thanks to bills, my Mid-Ohio trip and a wedding mom went to, not to mention food and the computer), so we're back to scrounging. Next year I'm definitely either getting a regular job for a while, going back to school in some fashion, or a little of both if business doesn't pick up before then.
But barring a computer, mom wants stuff like mineral makeup, some kind of styling tool, dishes and the like, so I'll be able to get her the little stuff I think. She's been wanting a garmin for two years now, so I'd love to get her that, but we'll see. We want to get Zach out of the way first, and being a 16 year old everything he wants is expensive. Rock Band, computer, a dog, iphone, etc. Luckily he doesn't have his license yet or he'd be bugging us for a car!
As for me, well, part of my list is in the sidebar over there, but in addition to that stuff I've been wanting a digital camera for a while. But really, a nice big stack of comics (I've bought maybe 20 books in the past 4-5 months or more) some DVDs and a couple of other smal things I've mentioned to her would be more than enough for me. In my downtime, whenever that occurs, I get really bored and love reading and watching movies, so that would be the perfect gift for me. Everything else I can buy for myself when I have the money.
Speaking of letdowns, though, to bring it back to relevancy, I mentioned a few posts back how I felt weak about my eating habits. I think I need to clarify something though. While I do love food, and I have been hitting the sweets a little heavier than usual lately, I really don't eat that much.
For instance, today all I had all day long was a veggie sub from Subway and a Christmas tree snack cake for dessert. I may have had 2-3 potato chips at some point, but nothing else.
Yesterday I ate a little more. I had cereal for breakfast (one bowl - honey bunches of oats), a cheese sandwich for lunch and then a Bertolli chicken parm. for dinner, followed by a single scoop of vanilla ice cream.
The day before was when I did that atrocious thing with the pistachio pudding, but even with that I only ate one piece, and not much else throughout the day.
It was suggested to me in the comments to exercise more and eat less. I don't agree with that last part seeing as how I don't eat that much. I think I should probably try even harder to eat healthier things and break it up into smaller portions throughout the day though. The thing is, if you don't eat your body doesn't burn fat, so eating (healthy though) is essential to weight loss, just not overeating or eating until you're so full you can't stand it. And the problem with eating basically one meal a day as I often do is that your stomach contracts, so you get fuller faster, and so I feel overly full from that one meal, and thus my body's not burning anything and I feel miserable. But I don't gain weight, I just don't lose any either.
I do agree with the more exercise part though, and I've tried to get back into it of late. I've begun doing crunches and push ups and stuff again, but I really need to do something to get my cardio going like running. I've just got to figure out where to put that pesky treadmill!
Anyway, as I noted earlier, I called it quits early today and took a nap for about 4 hours. I was feeling bad and couldn't stay awake. When I woke up I had dinner and watched Heroes. Then I tried to make that eggless egg nog and messed something up terribly because it did NOT taste good at all. It was unbearable actually. So I'll try that again tomorrow.
Then I watched something else and here I am. I'm going to try to get some work done tonight then have a LONG day of working tomorrow. So I may not post as much the next couple of days, or answer emails right away. I really need to leave these distractions be so I can get some stuff done!