This has been a rough past couple of weeks to say the least. I've been really busy, which I guess is a good thing, but it's taking a toll on me.
My lettering is really starting to get out there, so hopefully that will keep happening. Most recently I got two great gigs. One is lettering issue 2 of Ezra: Evoked Emotions for Arcana. The other I'm not quite ready to talk about, but it's even cooler for me.
I've also had a lot of small jobs, and I'm always looking for more paid ones, so give me a shout if you've got something.
Today I've got a whole lot to do as usual, but I look to be caught up by the end of the week if all goes well.
Last week could have resulted in some news about whether our home is getting sold out from under us. I haven't heard the verdict yet, but last we talked it didn't look good. So just keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We really don't have anywhere else to go or the money to take us there right now.
Things have been really stressful around here lately. I won't go into details, but tempers have flared and things have been said. It's just... really... strained right now I guess is the word. I don't want to be a downer anymore, so I'll just leave it at that. We really need some things to happen in a number of areas, so if you could just send some good vibes our way. :)
Enough about all that crap though.
I was thinking the past few days how much a year can change a person. It's truly amazing what can occur in as little time as a year. One year ago I was a completely different person than I am now. Those of you who speak to me online may not see the difference, but had you known me in person a year ago and now you would see the difference. Some of the change is for the better, some for the worse. It's just strange how much can truly change.
For instance, a year ago the way I thought about things was completely different from how I do now. While I am more cynical I think, and that probably just comes with age, it's more than that. A year ago I guess you could see I was ever so slightly more naive, yet oddly less open minded. Now I'm definitely not naive in the slightest, if anything the opposite, and I'm more open minded to certain things.
Again, no details, just an observation. A year ago there were people in my life I trusted for 20 years. Now those people are no longer in my life. Not complaining or being down about it, just noting one of the changes.
It's just odd how much can change in so little time. When I was a kid a year seemed like an eternity, but now it seems like a blink of an eye, and yet the things that happen in that momentary wink can change one's life significantly.
I lived my life for years for one goal, and I always put others above myself even to my detriment many times. That goal, while at the core hasn't changed, the methods by which to reach that goal have been altered. And while I'll still go out of my way to help people I won't hurt myself and my family to do it because that's just not wise. You'd have to know exactly what level of help I'm talking about to understand that.
But I'm not complaining, what is, is. What's in the past can stay there. I used to be concerned about the past, and sometimes it still haunts me and reminds me of things. But by and large I just want to move on. That's easier said than done many times, but that's what you've got to do.
I hope this post doesn't sound like the old whining I got into for a bit a while back. If it does someone please let me know and I'll not do it again. I'm trying to leave that momentarily weak aspect of myself far behind. It wasn't a part of me before, and I don't want it to be a part of me now. Sometimes when so much occurs at once you can't help but go into that phase for a short time, but it's definitely not a place I want to stay or even be reminded of.
Well, maybe it's because I just woke up after a stressful night and had all this on my mind, and maybe I'm still half asleep because I didn't intend on making some large post at this time. Whatever the case may be here it is. I find that this blog allows me to be open and honest with words I could never say, yet I still tend to hold back a lot. I'm not one to talk about my problems or even my dreams in idle conversation. It's just not who I am. I'm a very private person, but for some reason I find some solace in putting my words onto this program that could potentially broadcast them to millions of people. Go figure. lol.
Anyway, I think that's about all I have in me today. I need to go get some tea and wake my butt up. It's going to be a long day!
B-Out
4 comments:
You continue to amaze me Brant. Honesty isn't an easy thing, believe me I know, but whether you are or not in reality you come across as open and honest and that's admirable.
People do come and go, that's the unfortunate thing about life. I think as we get older we learn how to move on.
I am a completely different person now, in many ways, to the one who turned 30 last year. Personally I don't think it is for the better but that remains to be seen.
Keep at it, man. I enjoy reading your blog and I learn from it almost every time.
Thank you, Ray, that means a lot. It really means something to me that people read this blog, and even more when something I write touches someone in the smallest of ways.
Hang in there, man, change is constant whether we like it, or realize it or not. There are things about myself I don't like right now either, but only I can change them. I just have to find the strength to do so, and sometimes that's hard to come by. But I'm with you, bro, I feel you and I'm praying for you. Stay strong and thanks for the encouraging words.
I'm there for you, man. It's probably a good thing to be less naive, and change happens for us all, at different speeds at different times, but it's something we all go through, good and bad, but it's what makes us - us.
Good stuff, my friend :)
I agree, it does happen for us all and makes us who we are. Though the changes were hard and feeling the loss of people that I once trusted with my life hurt I actually view that particular change as a good one. You know they say sometimes you can't see a situation for what it is until you step outside of it. I did that and suddenly everything became very clear.
Thanks for the support, Frank!
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