So, some recent events are forcing a pretty big change for me coming up really soon. I'm going to be vague, because I simply don't want to go into the details of it all. But it's something that was bound to happen, but as oftentimes occurs, it came at a time I wasn't nearly prepared for it.
Isn't that the way life goes, though? Things come at you when you're not ready for them to, and then you have to scramble and try to make them work. It's been the story of my life, and I'm sure many others' as well. We can't always be prepared for everything, no matter how hard we try. And believe me, I've tried very, very hard to be prepared for just this instance. But life often gets in the way of itself and prevents such preparations to come to fruition.
It is very hard to stay up and positive when you get thrown a curve ball like this. In the past 24 hours I've been angry, worried, remorseful, angry again, worried some more, angry a lot more, and stressed. Right now, I'm kind of calm. There's nothing I can do to change the course of events at this point, so I have to let go of all those emotions and just do what I can to salvage the situation.
I've known this day would come for a while, but I worked my butt off trying to prevent it to no avail. I'm talking sleepless nights, slaving at this computer, putting more time into it than a person should have to, but it just wasn't enough. As always happens, other things came up out of the blue that made staying on top of this situation impossible, no matter how much work I put in.
For a while now, I've looked at the positive side of this. It is an opportunity for a pretty big change in my life, and a change that's long overdue if I'm being honest. But it's still a change I'm nowhere near prepared for, and that scares me. I don't know how I'm going to make it happen. But I'm looking at all possibilities and trying to make the best out of this.
I do still have some anger and hurt, and rightfully so the way things went down, given everything I put into the situation. But ultimately I understand and just have to move on.
So, I'm about to close a chapter in my life and start a new one. It's going to be a pretty rocky start, but I'm hoping it'll smooth out and take me to better things in the future.
I realize I couldn't be more vague if I tried here, but those close to the situation will understand it completely. To the rest of you, just suffice it to say that change is change, even if it's forced change. And that's what I face and must accept, and hopefully, eventually, thrive from it.
B
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 08, 2012
Writing Again!
A couple of posts back I mentioned wanting to get back to writing. Well, I finally have!
It's not much yet, but I plotted out two short comic stories last night. One for the collected edition of the Zone 4 webcomic that will see print later this year. It's a fun, all ages story that comic fans - especially Marvel fans of old - will appreciate.
The second was a partial plot for a story for Ringtail Cafe sometime down the line. I pitched what I had so far and my good friend Darren really liked it. So hopefully that will come about sometime soon as well.
Going back to the Zone 4 comic for a minute, as I was writing the plot out for that story, three other story ideas for Zone 4 came to me based on the villains of the stories. I hope I get the opportunity to bring those all to life as well, because they're all a lot of fun. Classic kind of stories that don't take themselves too seriously.
So anyway, I just wanted to update everyone that I am slowly dipping my toe back into writing again as I can find a few free minutes here and there. And I'm having a blast doing it!
-B
It's not much yet, but I plotted out two short comic stories last night. One for the collected edition of the Zone 4 webcomic that will see print later this year. It's a fun, all ages story that comic fans - especially Marvel fans of old - will appreciate.
The second was a partial plot for a story for Ringtail Cafe sometime down the line. I pitched what I had so far and my good friend Darren really liked it. So hopefully that will come about sometime soon as well.
Going back to the Zone 4 comic for a minute, as I was writing the plot out for that story, three other story ideas for Zone 4 came to me based on the villains of the stories. I hope I get the opportunity to bring those all to life as well, because they're all a lot of fun. Classic kind of stories that don't take themselves too seriously.
So anyway, I just wanted to update everyone that I am slowly dipping my toe back into writing again as I can find a few free minutes here and there. And I'm having a blast doing it!
-B
Friday, April 27, 2012
I Have Too Many Email Accounts
Granted, a lot of them flow into one account, but there are others that I rarely check and probably should more often. There was even one, a gmail account, that I completely forgot I even had! I had created it specifically for use with this freelance work site I was using at the time. That was in 2010. I haven't used it since! Didn't even know the password.
I think it's time to consolidate and dwindle down all these email addresses. It should have been a clue to me when several of my friends tend to copy three different email addresses on everything they send to me, which all go to the same account. So I get the same email three times in the same account.
Yeah...
Now I just have to find the time to do so. It's hard because my two main Yahoo addresses I've had since college, and it's a daunting task to say the very least to sort through all that. Not to mention the nearly dozen others! But when I find out I'm missing work or important notices because I'm not checking the right email address, it's time to change something. Hopefully sooner than later, but we'll see how that goes.
A word to the wise: just use one or two emails tops! It gets out of hand fast!
-B
Friday, April 20, 2012
I Want to Write
Yikes, a month and a half since my last update? I'm slacking!
But that leads me into the thought of the day: I want to write.
Now you're saying, "But, Brant... you're writing right now!" But that's not what I mean, of course. Sure, I do want to blog more and give you all a reason to come back here, but I want to do more.
In the past few weeks, I've talked to a few friends that I hadn't talked to for a while. And each of them asked me first thing, "So, what have you been writing lately?" or something to that degree. And my sad, sheepish answer was always something to the effect of "I haven't had time to write, just work."
I consider myself a writer more than anything to be honest. And believe me, it took me a LONG time to admit that to myself. When I was in my grade school years to mid-teens, I would tell you I was an artist. That's what I wanted to do, more than anything, was draw. That was what I was going to do with my life. I was destined to be an artist. Now, I rarely even pick up a pencil, and sadly some of that passion is gone. That's a whole other topic, though.
As I got a little bit older, I truly realized my passion for music. I knew I was going to sing. That was what I loved more than any other creative aspect of my life. And hoonestly, I still love to sing - it's a huge part of who I am. I love music of most kinds, I listen to it all the time, and I'm constantly singing while I'm working, showering, walking, whatever. But sadly, that, as a career, never came either.
In my early 20s I started seriously writing. Mainly poetry and song lyrics, but a few short stories here and there as well. As time went on, I found myself writing comic scripts, screenplays, reviews, articles, columns, etc. I became passionate about the written word. And if I'm being completely honest, more than my singing, art, and even acting to a far lesser degree, people responded to my writing. I learned pretty quick that I was pretty good.
I've always said that I'm better at conveying myself through the written word than verbally, which is odd considering I do podcasts all the time, and seem to talk more these days than I ever write. But still, I suppose I have a talent for it, and I enjoy doing it. The only problem is I never have time for it.
Now of course, anyone with any common sense will tell you that if it's something you truly love you can and will make time for it. But those people, as sound as their advice may be, don't live my life or walk in my shoes. I WANT to write, I really do. There are articles I have in me that I want to get down. There is stuff I want to review. And more importantly, there are many stories I want to tell in comic novel, screenplay, etc. form. It's just that after working all I want to do is relax.
Someone once told me that working for yourself was much harder than working a 9-5 job for the simple fact that when you work for yourself you tend to work ALL THE TIME. You have no set hours, so you just work. And once you get in a groove you keep going. Plus, if you don't keep working, you don't have a guaranteed weekly, bi-weekly or monthly check coming in. In my line of work, if I take a day off, it could set me back weeks. So I tend to work 7 days a week. Granted, I do take time for myself on Saturday for a few short hours, but otherwise it's either working or looking for more work. No time to write (or for anything else for that matter, much to the chagrin of my friends and family).
I consider myself a creative person and a creative spirit, though. I have worked in offices, factories, stores, outdoors, and so forth. While some of those did provide steady pay, they were honestly the most depressing , disheartening and hated times of my life. I tried to fit myself into a mold that others told me I should, and I was miserable. Sure, I liked having bills paid and food on the table, and a little extra from time to time. But it left no time for what I really wanted to do in life.
Don't get me wrong, I know we have to work, and believe me, I do. Harder and longer than I ever did doing 9-5 jobs. I hit dry spells in work flow from time to time, and being sick, having surgery and then recovering set me back a whole lot. I was weeks and months behind on work, and then the main company I did get a monthly check from folded under. That hurt. Thankfully, things have taken a turn and are getting back on track.
But what all that means is I STILL have NO TIME TO WRITE! It's a burning, aching desire within me, just like singing still is and art used to be. I want to do SO much, but I have no time, or no energy in the instances - however rare they may be - that I do have time.
I'm not sure how to balance things, or change things in a way that I won't be miserable, but I'm working on it. Doing blog posts like this is a step, believe it or not. Writing blog posts kind of invigorates me - makes me want to write more. I just hope I can find the time, energy and focus to pour that drive into something creative soon.
I want to write. I have stuff I need to write. Yet, instead, I find myself writing about wanting to write and not actually writing. Creative writing takes thought, research and planning, at least for what I want to do. Though I do tend to write in a way that lets the story dictate the pace and events, there's still rewrites, edits, etc. Blog posts are generally streams of consciousness and don't require any of that.
Today is going to be a long work day. I am sincerely hoping that I can get enough done today to warrant a longer break over the weekend. And maybe, just maybe I'll make some time for some actual writing. Because I do want to write. Now I just have to.
-B
But that leads me into the thought of the day: I want to write.
Now you're saying, "But, Brant... you're writing right now!" But that's not what I mean, of course. Sure, I do want to blog more and give you all a reason to come back here, but I want to do more.
In the past few weeks, I've talked to a few friends that I hadn't talked to for a while. And each of them asked me first thing, "So, what have you been writing lately?" or something to that degree. And my sad, sheepish answer was always something to the effect of "I haven't had time to write, just work."
I consider myself a writer more than anything to be honest. And believe me, it took me a LONG time to admit that to myself. When I was in my grade school years to mid-teens, I would tell you I was an artist. That's what I wanted to do, more than anything, was draw. That was what I was going to do with my life. I was destined to be an artist. Now, I rarely even pick up a pencil, and sadly some of that passion is gone. That's a whole other topic, though.
As I got a little bit older, I truly realized my passion for music. I knew I was going to sing. That was what I loved more than any other creative aspect of my life. And hoonestly, I still love to sing - it's a huge part of who I am. I love music of most kinds, I listen to it all the time, and I'm constantly singing while I'm working, showering, walking, whatever. But sadly, that, as a career, never came either.
In my early 20s I started seriously writing. Mainly poetry and song lyrics, but a few short stories here and there as well. As time went on, I found myself writing comic scripts, screenplays, reviews, articles, columns, etc. I became passionate about the written word. And if I'm being completely honest, more than my singing, art, and even acting to a far lesser degree, people responded to my writing. I learned pretty quick that I was pretty good.
I've always said that I'm better at conveying myself through the written word than verbally, which is odd considering I do podcasts all the time, and seem to talk more these days than I ever write. But still, I suppose I have a talent for it, and I enjoy doing it. The only problem is I never have time for it.
Now of course, anyone with any common sense will tell you that if it's something you truly love you can and will make time for it. But those people, as sound as their advice may be, don't live my life or walk in my shoes. I WANT to write, I really do. There are articles I have in me that I want to get down. There is stuff I want to review. And more importantly, there are many stories I want to tell in comic novel, screenplay, etc. form. It's just that after working all I want to do is relax.
Someone once told me that working for yourself was much harder than working a 9-5 job for the simple fact that when you work for yourself you tend to work ALL THE TIME. You have no set hours, so you just work. And once you get in a groove you keep going. Plus, if you don't keep working, you don't have a guaranteed weekly, bi-weekly or monthly check coming in. In my line of work, if I take a day off, it could set me back weeks. So I tend to work 7 days a week. Granted, I do take time for myself on Saturday for a few short hours, but otherwise it's either working or looking for more work. No time to write (or for anything else for that matter, much to the chagrin of my friends and family).
I consider myself a creative person and a creative spirit, though. I have worked in offices, factories, stores, outdoors, and so forth. While some of those did provide steady pay, they were honestly the most depressing , disheartening and hated times of my life. I tried to fit myself into a mold that others told me I should, and I was miserable. Sure, I liked having bills paid and food on the table, and a little extra from time to time. But it left no time for what I really wanted to do in life.
Don't get me wrong, I know we have to work, and believe me, I do. Harder and longer than I ever did doing 9-5 jobs. I hit dry spells in work flow from time to time, and being sick, having surgery and then recovering set me back a whole lot. I was weeks and months behind on work, and then the main company I did get a monthly check from folded under. That hurt. Thankfully, things have taken a turn and are getting back on track.
But what all that means is I STILL have NO TIME TO WRITE! It's a burning, aching desire within me, just like singing still is and art used to be. I want to do SO much, but I have no time, or no energy in the instances - however rare they may be - that I do have time.
I'm not sure how to balance things, or change things in a way that I won't be miserable, but I'm working on it. Doing blog posts like this is a step, believe it or not. Writing blog posts kind of invigorates me - makes me want to write more. I just hope I can find the time, energy and focus to pour that drive into something creative soon.
I want to write. I have stuff I need to write. Yet, instead, I find myself writing about wanting to write and not actually writing. Creative writing takes thought, research and planning, at least for what I want to do. Though I do tend to write in a way that lets the story dictate the pace and events, there's still rewrites, edits, etc. Blog posts are generally streams of consciousness and don't require any of that.
Today is going to be a long work day. I am sincerely hoping that I can get enough done today to warrant a longer break over the weekend. And maybe, just maybe I'll make some time for some actual writing. Because I do want to write. Now I just have to.
-B
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Yep, I'm Still Here
I know, I know, it's been far too long between updates. I do apologize for that, things got pretty hectic there for a minute. As convention season approaches, work inevitably starts to pick up. Between that and some personal issues, it has been very difficult to find time for blogging.
That said, I did want to pop in here real quick and let everyone know I was still here, still working and constantly looking for more work, and still staying up.
I've been lettering a lot lately, almost exclusively, and it's been fun. I've had the opportunity to work on some really cool projects that were fun to letter. I have a couple more coming up soon too.
I'll be doing some flatting here soon too, but not much right now.
I mentioned convention season, and I will be heading out some this year. Not much, but there are a few shows I'll be at.
Speaking of lettering, I'll soon be redesigning my lettering site. It hasn't been updated in a good long while, and it's time for an updated design. I'm bored with the old one, and it's not as easy to update or as user-friendly navigation wise as I would prefer.
Not much else to talk about at the moment. Still podcasting, still doing comic stuff, still daydreaming of singing professionally. lol
I don't know about my fellow American Idol fans out there, but I've become bored with that show the past two or three years. I honestly prefer the newer show The Voice to those. I think it's interesting that the coaches have to pick the contestants based on voice alone without seeing them. It really makes it about the talent, and that's something I appreciate.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I'll be back soon...
-B
That said, I did want to pop in here real quick and let everyone know I was still here, still working and constantly looking for more work, and still staying up.
I've been lettering a lot lately, almost exclusively, and it's been fun. I've had the opportunity to work on some really cool projects that were fun to letter. I have a couple more coming up soon too.
I'll be doing some flatting here soon too, but not much right now.
I mentioned convention season, and I will be heading out some this year. Not much, but there are a few shows I'll be at.
Speaking of lettering, I'll soon be redesigning my lettering site. It hasn't been updated in a good long while, and it's time for an updated design. I'm bored with the old one, and it's not as easy to update or as user-friendly navigation wise as I would prefer.
Not much else to talk about at the moment. Still podcasting, still doing comic stuff, still daydreaming of singing professionally. lol
I don't know about my fellow American Idol fans out there, but I've become bored with that show the past two or three years. I honestly prefer the newer show The Voice to those. I think it's interesting that the coaches have to pick the contestants based on voice alone without seeing them. It really makes it about the talent, and that's something I appreciate.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I'll be back soon...
-B
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Yep, Still Busy
I'm really sorry for the lack of updates, I've just had a LOT to do, and am still trying to catch up and finish everything. Been a bit overwhelmed actually. Work is just starting to pick up with some jobs flowing in slowly, but enough to keep me pretty busy.
Between that and the sites I run and the podcasts, it's all I can do to keep up with that stuff. I want to blog more, but honestly, I don't have much to add right now anyway, nor time to think of something cool to talk about.
So just bear with me a little longer and I'll get back up to speed here.
-B
Between that and the sites I run and the podcasts, it's all I can do to keep up with that stuff. I want to blog more, but honestly, I don't have much to add right now anyway, nor time to think of something cool to talk about.
So just bear with me a little longer and I'll get back up to speed here.
-B
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Been Busy, Still Am
Sorry for not updating sooner, it's just been busy around here. I have a few lettering projects on my plate right now, and some other things going on.
I also battled a bad cold on and off for a week or so, and it's still trying to settle in. Luckily it never latched onto me quite as bad as it could have.
This week is going to be SUPER busy trying to get everything done I need to. So I doubt I'll have much time for updates here for the next few days. So I definitely wanted to pop in and let everyone know what's going on so no one worries or thinks I've just quit blogging again. :)
Everyone have a great week, and I will try my best to make my way back here sooner than later.
-B
I also battled a bad cold on and off for a week or so, and it's still trying to settle in. Luckily it never latched onto me quite as bad as it could have.
This week is going to be SUPER busy trying to get everything done I need to. So I doubt I'll have much time for updates here for the next few days. So I definitely wanted to pop in and let everyone know what's going on so no one worries or thinks I've just quit blogging again. :)
Everyone have a great week, and I will try my best to make my way back here sooner than later.
-B
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